Throughout my childhood I lived in remand homes and child detention centres where my parents worked with kids who had gone off the rails. Their attitude was always that it was circumstances that pushed kids off the rails, not that the children were ‘bad’.
My heart goes out to kids who face the usual schoolyard power struggles, learning challenges and all the other myriad childhood experiences, without the benefit of unconditional support and love at home. For me home was always dependable, loving and supportive and a place to feel safe, and that’s what home should be.
I come to the situation as an optimist and think that we can change the direction of where a child is heading, and that’s what the Australian Childhood Foundation does.
Had you been particularly aware of child abuse as an issue before you became involved in the Australian Childhood Foundation?
I was certainly aware that it was an important issue. I guess, though, I knew there was more of it about than I was aware of, and I think the first step towards fixing something is to be fully aware of it. Hopefully that’s where I can help a little.
Stress within a family can be a major factor in the incidence of child abuse and neglect. How do you cope with your husband’s demanding job and what mechanisms do you have in place to ensure it doesn’t impact on the children?
Every family has its own stresses whether it be struggling to make ends meets, putting food on the table, job insecurity, problems at work, or your kids being picked on at school. Those stresses can be fleeting or constant, but the important thing is to learn the tools to get through and to keep the family solid and optimistic, to be able to meet those challenges, and stay strong and secure within the family home.
Over David’s six years in public office, there have been times when it has been hard to keep a sense of optimism and keep the stresses away. In the early days I knew it was going to be a juggling act and I built a support network of people that the kids knew and trusted and felt safe with, that could be there for them when I couldn’t, and that’s still in place.
But of course there are families that are under insurmountable stress and that’s a completely different thing from the more everyday types of stresses families experience. This is where extra support is required, such as the work of the community as well as organisations such as the Australian Childhood Foundation.
What can we do when we see someone who seems to be buckling under the weight of such enormous difficulties – before those strains result in damaging impact on the children in that family?
I urge those families among us who are not dealing with those sorts of difficulties to be more aware of the stresses facing others, and not be afraid of giving a hand. It need not be anything daunting, just something practical like cooking a meal, giving them a break by having their child at your place after school, helping with after school sports or other activities, or by donating to a program that you believe will make a difference – and there are many that the Foundation offers.
If you become aware of a child in your school community or neighbourhood whose behaviour is disruptive, try to understand and engage, don’t just stand back and judge, because there’s a chance there are stresses at home.
If you see a child who looks like they’re lost and spinning out of control, they probably are. Whatever they’re dealing with could be fleeting, or a serious problem, and reaching out could be a critical turning point for them.
Sometimes it’s easier not to deal with someone else’s difficulties and child abuse is a particularly hard issue for some people to face.
We don’t travel through life as independent, unaffected individuals; we are part of a community that is interconnected and if we don’t look after each other, we can fall into some pretty deep holes.
We have to recognise there are great privileges to being part of a community, but with that comes responsibility to give something back and we all have to do our bit.
Larissa Bartlett studied social work before obtaining a degree in sociology and social policy and is the mother of two young children.
